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The Zumio X sex toy is okay at best, underwhelming at worst

The Zumio X can be a toy to add to a stocked collection, but it didn't wow us.
The Zumio X sex toy is okay at best, underwhelming at worst

When I first saw the Zumio, I was reminded of a water flosser. You know, those devices that shoot water in between your teeth to get all the gunk that regular floss apparently can't? Yeah, those.

Zumio is absolutely not an electric toothbrush, though: It's a sex toy. But the unique design intrigued me. I hadn't seen anything like it before, so I wanted to try it out for myself. There are three Zumio models: Zumio X, the original, which has a higher level of intensity; Zumio S, which has less intensity for people with higher sensitivity; and Zumio E, which has the highest level of intensity. The former two use circular rotation to provide pleasure, while the E uses elliptical rotation.

"Invented and designed by women, Zumio is unlike any sex toy you’ve ever seen and pinpoints what all women already know — the natural circular motion of a fingertip is hard to beat," a product information sheet I was provided with stated. "Rather than using vibration to stimulate, the tiny but powerful Zumio focuses on rotation using SpiroTIP? technology— a tip that revolves in tiny circles, creating a completely unique sensation to help you achieve the most powerful orgasms."

The Zumio, then, isn't a vibrator because it uses rotation not vibration to provide stimulation — another feature that makes it unique.

The Zumio isn't a vibrator because it uses rotation, not vibration — another feature that makes it unique.

Zumio comes with a USB charging hub you plug it into, a protective cap, and its own pouch. It's waterproof and should only be used on water-based lubes. The user guide provided in the Zumio package says the toy can be used on the labia, nipples, and elsewhere. It's not meant for internal vaginal or anal use. While I only tested out the Zumio by myself, you can use it during partner play as well.

Zumio turns on with a single press of its power button, and you control its eight speeds with the up and down buttons. To use the travel lock, hold the power button for 10 seconds (the website says five, but after consulting with Zumio's team they confirmed it's 10) — this assures that if you travel with the Zumio, it won't randomly turn on as it's jiggling around in your suitcase.

A snag in charging the Zumio

I chose to try the bestseller and the original, the Zumio X. The first obstacle I came across was charging. The instructional packet said to charge before first use, but didn't clarify for how long. The user guide had a graphic that said "16 hours" but no clarification on whether the first charge — or any charge — needed to be 16 hours long. The site's FAQ page also didn't resolve the question.

I charged my Zumio for around 2-3 hours before my first use, and it lost its charge after about a half hour. After asking the team team, they recommended this: "For a full charge please leave it charging overnight -12 hours will give several hours use, 16 straight hours is the max it will charge for. Try to charge the Zumio fully overnight, it should be able to run for more than 2 hours on a full charge. If the product will only run a short time then there is a battery issue."

This information wasn't in the user guide or packet provided nor the FAQ, though my Zumio did last longer when I charged it overnight. The base felt warm after the charge, but according to the FAQ this is normal.

The three Zumio models

The three Zumio models

Image: zumio

Does the Zumio live up to expectations?

Did the Zumio provide the "most powerful orgasms"? Honestly, no; I was underwhelmed by the Zumio. I found that a certain angle on my labia worked, as did slight pressure on the clitoral hood on the lowest setting. Putting the tip on the clit was way too much, and not pleasurable.

In my experience, the Zumio required patience. If you don't mind — or even enjoy — exploring how a toy can best give you pleasure, then this product is for you. I, however, am an impatient person, especially because I'm well versed in what sex toys (particularly vibrators) best get me off.

I wouldn't compare the tip of the Zumio X to a finger as the company does because, well...it's not one. Perhaps the Zumio S, with its larger tip and less intense speed, is more like a finger, but I don't think one can compare body-safe silicone to human flesh. With the Zumio X in particular, the lowest speed was way too fast to imitate what fingers or hands do.

Furthermore, the box Zumio X arrived in claimed that the toy was "whisper quiet." Even on the lowest speed, that wasn't the case for me; it sounded as loud as other vibrators in my collection. Thankfully, I don't necessarily need toys to be quiet (I live with a roommate who knows part of my job is reviewing sex toys), but I don't believe the claim on the box to be true.

I'd recommend Zumio to someone who has toys stocked in their drawer and is ready to try something new.

All of this isn't to say I didn't find some value in the Zumio X. As I said above, I did figure out how to position it to eventually climax. I also tried it out on my nipples and it did provide a pleasant sensation, though was left with tingles after I stopped (which, I suppose, is to be expected when putting a rotating device on your nips).

But moreover, the Zumio actually provided some relief to recently-diagnosed pelvic pain. As I'm not a medical professional I can't recommend one use the Zumio this way, but for me, putting it near a trigger point on my labia provided some muscle release. If you suffer from more external pelvic pain and consider using Zumio this way, consult your pelvic specialist or physical therapist.

Overall, I'd recommend Zumio to someone who has toys stocked in their drawer and is ready to try something new, and/or if the idea of the circular/elliptical motion tip is enticing to you. If you or your partner is into nipple play, the Zumio is also a good option. I wouldn't recommend the Zumio to someone new to sex toys. If you're a beginner, there are plenty of toys with a flatter learning curve out there.

Despite the steeper learning curve, I did get pleasure out of Zumio, but it won't be my go-to toy by a long shot. But hey, it's certainly more pleasurable than a water flosser.

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