A very serious ranking of all your 'Bridgerton' crushes

There is no shame in having binged all of the delicious Bridgerton in a day.

Dec. 29, 2020

A very serious ranking of all your 'Bridgerton' crushes

There is no shame in having binged all of the delicious Bridgerton in a day, nor in rewatching it multiple times in the days that followed. Netflix and Shondaland's adaptation of Julia Quinn's novels is all about coupling, and if you're anything like us you might have developed more than a few crushes while finishing the season.

Let us now lean back in repose like the Queen herself and rank the many eligible crushes of Bridgerton Season 1 (and some stinkers).

27. Lord Berbrooke

Pros: none. status I guess
Cons: everything

26. Cressida Cowper

Cressida was a powerful threat for approximately one episode of "Bridgerton."

Pros: adaptable, fights for what she wants
Cons: history of blackmail

25. Marina Thompson

Marina could have handled a lot of things better, but we're glad she's okay.

Pros: New in town
Cons: generally unpleasant to everyone who isn't her love George

24. Madame Genevieve Delacroix

Don't trust Madame Delacroix with anything except your fashion needs.

Pros: fReNcH...maybe
Cons: a lil' messy, and possibly lying about her name/origin/entire life story

23. Philippa and Prudence Featherington

Pros: Eager
Cons: lacking in personality to the point where they share a spot on this list

22. Lady Featherington

Lady Portia Featherington had some tough looks this season.

Pros: fiercely protective mother
Cons: beyond obsessed with appearances, seemed ready to let Marina die to avoid further scandal

21. Lord Featherington

Lord Featherington is flawed but ultimately a good dude.

Pros: Loves his family, one of the only people on this show unwilling to force a girl into marriage
Cons: rampant gambler, missing and possibly dead

20. Daphne Bridgerton

Daphne Bridgerton is cute but has quite a fight in her!

Pros: shiny
Cons: tricked her husband into nonconsensual procreation

19. Mrs. Varley

Mrs. Varley strikes as as the Geri from "Succession" of "Bridgerton."

Pros: Loyal
Cons: Loyal to Lady Featherington

18. Anthony Bridgerton

Anthony Bridgerton is the kind of crush you suspect will break your heart and that just makes you dive in with more enthusiasm.

Pros: deeply angry in a way that will prove beneficial during sex
Cons: cares about a woman’s honor unless he’s sleeping with her
[Editor's note: Anthony is ranked too low on this list!!]

17. Simon Basset

Pros: see above image
Cons: can't communicate a simple thought, obsessed with spiting his dead father, a rake

16. Benedict Bridgerton

Pros: the most sexually liberated among the main families
Cons: thinks he's straight :(

15. Penelope Featherington

Penelope deserves the world and you will hear from her if she doesn't get it!!!

Pros: Kind, funny
Cons: Petty af, will write articles that call you out by name

14. Prince Friederich

Why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

Pros: "kind, adoring...knows what he wants," in Daphne's own words!
Cons: is not Simon

13. Siena Rosso

Pros: strong, independent, sexy
Cons: strong chance of relapsing with ex multiple times before you guys can start anything

12. Henry Granville

Pros: Suave as heck, artistic, friendly
Cons: in love with Lord Wetherby (also married to Lucy but that doesn't appear to be a concern)

11. Queen Charlotte

Her Majesty is a veritably crushworthy royal but would also crush you if you got in her way.

Pros: QUEEN
Cons: probably hates you

10. Lady Bridgerton

Lady Violet Bridgerton is doing the best she can!

Pros: super single, definitely fucks
Cons: still in love w dead husband, occasionally drinks too much (but seemingly in a fun way)

9. Siena's beau

Siena's new man is ready to fight for her honor and also has cool hair.

Pros: loves a woman without titles, which is bRaVe
Cons: didn't realize his gf was banging Lord Bridgerton under the bleachers like dude we literally all saw it coming

8. Mr. Finch

Pros: immune to fads, loves cheese
Cons: loves cheese too much?

7. Lady Whistledown's voice

Reading Lady Whistledown words is an entirely different experience before and after you know who she is.

Pros: sassy, soothing
Cons: lacks corporeal form

6. Colin Bridgerton

Pros: total sweetheart with a lovely voice
Cons: he dumb

5. Eloise Bridgerton

It's tough to put this smile on Eloise Bridgerton's face but it would be worth every second of effort <3

Pros: smart, funny, allergic to pomp and bullshit
Cons: being someone's crush is her literal nightmare

4. Will Mondrich

Pros: Cares about family above all else (but without the chip on Anthony's shoulder)
Cons: just the one time he threw a fight to get paid by Lord Featherington. An act of love!