In many ways, Hocus Pocus 2 gave us exactly the Halloween treats we craved: a spooky tale of witchy wonder, a cackling reunion with our beloved Sanderson sisters, oodles of cheeky humor, and more music and (family-friendly) mayhem. The film's finale even bestowed happy endings for witches new and old, as well as for a familiar bag of bones! But one sweet Salem local was robbed of his treat, and this feels like a dirty trick.
Poor Mayor Traske didn't get his caramel apple. And it's the film's greatest failing.
In this Hocus Pocus sequel, the Sanderson sisters (Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker) ditch their plot to gobble up children's souls in favor of pursuing a potion that would make them the most powerful spell-casters Salem has ever seen. To do this, they need the blood of their enemy, the scowling and cowardly Reverend Traske. Unfortunately, this 17th-century villain is long dead, so the witchy trio sets their sights on the next best thing: his descendent, Mayor Traske.
In a bit of casting brilliance, both Traskes are played by Tony Hale, a comic actor whose range includes the cussing creep Dr. Psycho on Harley Quinn and the affable oddball Forky in Toy Story 4. With Hale crushing it on the voice work front, it's a fresh pleasure to see the Veep and Arrested Development star back in the flesh, playing both a baddie and a sweet buffoon once more. For while the reverend was a patriarchal jerk who'd tear the Sanderson sisters from each other's arms, the mayor is an adorable dad and "nicest man alive" who happily chats with his daughter's friends and alerts everyone in town to the magic of Sandy's Candy Cauldron's famous caramel apples. "It'll change your life!" promises the hapless Halloween enthusiast.
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While the Sanderson sisters are inciting musical mobs to track him down, teen witch coven Becca (Whitney Peak), Izzy (Belissa Escobedo), and Cassie (Lilia Buckingham) are racing to rescue the oblivious mayor from becoming a blood sacrifice. Meanwhile, he's in hot pursuit of a dreamily decadent caramel apple.
After setting up for Salem Scare Fest, he's giddy in line, awaiting his turn for this sweet seasonal treat. But then comes the call that Cassie's thrown an "unchaperoned house party," which pitches him into Dad Mode, so he races home. Parenting emergency handled, the mayor makes it back to Sandy's Candy Cauldron booth unscathed — and he even gets an apple! But then tragedy strikes. As the possessed locals converge upon him in what he assumes is a fun flashmob, someone steals his apple. He laments and rushes back to the stand, but alas! Sandy is all out of apples.
When the mayor returns home, he recounts to his disobedient daughter and her magical friends that he has had an "awful day." He'd come home to a mess that included "Gothic Golden Girls" in his garage — and his coveted candy apple was lost. "So then I went to a Walgreens that'd turned out their lights!" he exclaims, referring unknowingly to more Sanderson sisters shenanigans, "Which makes no sense! What Walgreens turns out their lights? But you know what I got? You know what I got in the dark? This pathetic thing!"
From his pocket he pulls out a plastic-wrapped caramel apple. It does look pathetic next to the glory of Sandy's candy confections. "I don't even know if there's an apple in there. This is probably a caramel-covered matzah ball," he whines. "But you know what? I'm going to eat it, and I'm going to like it!"
I'm sorry to say I don't believe he will like it. And just like that, Mayor Traske and his jack-o-lantern jumper exits his home in a huff and out of the movie. "I feel bad," Cassie says. "He's been talking about that caramel apple for weeks."
Weeks! You should feel bad, Cassie! This is all your fault!
Infuriatingly, Mayor Traske's arc ends here. Even though his daughter literally discovers she and her friends have superpowers, nobody uses them to give the guy his just dessert! Hell, you don't even need magic powers; caramel apples are a VERY DIY-friendly treat! Cassie, you messed up his Halloween and his house — make the guy a caramel apple! It is the LEAST you can do for ruining the fun of his favorite holiday!!
Despite my food-centered frustration, as the credits rolled and the Sanderson sisters went into a reprise of "The Witch is Back," I hoped maybe a mid-credit or post-credit scene might offer a caramel-coated catharsis... But no. The post-credit scene shows Gilbert the (not-so) Great's cat, Cobwebs, finding a second black-flame candle, indicating that a Hocus Pocus 3 could be manifested. But there's nothing for our sweet-toothed king.
The only justification I can find for such a cruel caramel-less twist of fate is that perhaps this is the last gasp of the Sanderson sisters' pettiness, a curse on the Traske bloodline that robs the Mayor of a simple sugary pleasure. Can you hear that on the wind? I think it's Winnie cackling.
Hocus Pocus 2 is now on Disney+.
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